I have a cancer on my body…not my soul.

There has been much to write about since I last bored you with scribbled thoughts from inside my head. The reasons for the long pause are many, chemo-brain, anemia, feeling like shit, uninspired, and a general malaise. Chemo-brain is a phenomenon grabbed onto to by cancer treatment patients like the last cold beer in the bottom of the cooler. (Stole that metaphor from PG) Chemo-brain manifests itself like a fog rolling into San Francisco Bay, clogging up daily thought processes, causing explanations of treatment options, side effects, and other doctor instructions to wiz by my ears like the wind in the Columbia River Gorge. (That’s a Dr. Mike metaphor) This is why it is critical there be a backup in every meeting where complicated information is communicated. Thankfully I have the best backup of all humankind. She is about 5’3”, beautiful, smart…I met her at that place I wrote about earlier. It is common for us both to listen to the exact same thing spoken by Marissa or Dr. B. and come away with completely different understandings of what was said. As is always the case, her interpretation is the more accurate one.

While chemo-brain is a vague concept, anemia is a measurable one. The chemo regimen administered suppresses bone marrow production of red blood cells. Normal hemoglobin has a numeric value of 14 grams per deciliter, during session 4, 5, & 6, my hemoglobin levels hovered around 8.0. Often it was explained that I might have a transfusion of whole blood if it fell into the “7” range. After session #6 that’s what happened, I was given a pint of whole blood, the universal type, “O”, although I have a much rarer blood type. After about a week, the energy levels returned, I felt much better. And felt that I wanted to write…so here we are.

Now for the good news…after session #6, a CT scan was performed to determine the effect of the chemo treatments on tumor size. Low & behold, as Dr. B excitedly explained, the 2 tumors in my lungs, one of which attained a diameter of 3cm, had completely disappeared from the lungs. We did not have a PET scan done, he explained that with the structure of the tumors gone, the likelihood of random rouge cancer cells floating about looking for another place to perch, was not plausible. The ‘red death’ (doxorubicin) would have tracked down all the escapees & rubbed them out. The original soft tissue sarcoma tumors in my abdomen were reduced in size by approximately half. This is a major battle that we can call a win, but the war continues. Sidebar: Asking Peggy to proof this blog post, she made the plausible point that while the images we viewed with Dr. B. were clear of the previous tumors, the radiologist report did not say the lung tumors were completely gone, they are ALMOST completely gone. See, always have a backup to correct you!!

To celebrate the good news, and to take a break from driving back & forth from Sibley Memorial Hospital, laying around the house feeling like crap until the transfusion explained above, we took a long weekend in New York City. This is where the soul part of my post title comes in. We had a wonderful time, this past Saturday we caught the early Acela train (the fast Amtrak train) from DC to Penn Station, walked to the hotel in Times Square, & took the subway back downtown to the 9/11 memorial. That is a must see for all Americans. The design of the museum awe-inspiring, they begin with the violence wrought upon the buildings, as you continue lower in the South tower basement area, the museum changes to the violence wrought on human beings. Take tissues or a handkerchief, the visual & audio imagery is quite powerful. Funny thing is Peggy & I have been to Shanksville, PA to the Flight 93 Memorial, now the WTC site, yet have not been to the Pentagon 9/11 memorial, which we drive past every time we go to Sibley or to visit my sister, Leigh, in Section 60 of Arlington National Cemetery. We are doing that next week or maybe when all the kids are here at Christmas.

On Sunday in NYC, we went to a matinee production of Hamilton. What a show!!!, this is the only Broadway performance I have ever seen, & except for the play Peggy performed in while we were dating, the only show of any kind I’ve attended. The professionalism, timing, overall performances given by the cast have me hooked, I’ve already bought Ron Chernow’s book, Alexander Hamilton, that inspired Lin-Manuel Miranda’s composition & script. It is an incredible performance; funny, educational, emotional…it restored my soul that had been so drained by the chemo sessions we endured.

In order to enjoy the glow of writing this blog post, I’m going to wait awhile to write about the next battle tactics discussed with Dr. B. Also, I have to ask Peggy what they are, since I can’t seem to remember correctly what was said!

Hope you are all well, are all looking forward to the Holidays, and know that we love you, no matter the tie we share.


8 thoughts on “I have a cancer on my body…not my soul.

  1. Wade!
    I’ve been thinking about you… daily. They had that bike rally that you had run that goes by my house a month or so ago. All the turns and hazards are still painted on the road so every time I drive “off island” I think of you and say no blog yet. I can stop saying that now. It’s good news to hear news that’s good. Now when I see that paint on the asphalt your smiling face will be on my mind.
    A squeeze to Peggy. Cheers and a Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. “Thank You” dear friend for sharing all of this. Love that you and that amazingly wonderful wife of yours were able to enjoy a get away that I’m certain nourished both of you in many ways. Wishes for continued healing are coming to you straight from my heart which you have made much lighter with this post.
    With love to you, Peggy & your precious family.

  3. How wonderful to hear you are out and about enjoying life! Keep the journey going!
    Love you, Paula

  4. Love that you have the energy to write. That in itself tells me a lot (besides you writing about it). Love the tone and optimism. The experience is yet another reminder to live every day to its fullest. Soul-feeding experiences or planning for them. In stolen moments if necessary (bc one does sometimes have to pay the bills to be able to afford those). Love you lots, big guy! As someone who knows the value of a strong advocate in these situations, I’ve always felt confident that you had the best advocate possible in Peggy!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.