Sometimes old adages don’t make the sense they do when they are first adopted by the human condition, it’s the philosophy of the old adage, (heeheehee) ‘to every rule there lay a perfectly logical exception.’
We are changing horses in midstream. After review by the interdisciplinary tumor board in Hopkins – Baltimore, we are switching to a dual approach of controlling “my little friend”. Surgery is off the table, the tumor is far too ingrained in the neighborhood to be cut out. Too many organs are attached, the tumor has its own vascular structure, infrastructure if you will, highways bringing arterial and taking venous blood to & from “my little friend”.
While I cannot go back to the MAI chemo regimen, Dr. B. is confident that with my kidney, heart, and liver function all normal, my overall strength being good, there is no reason not to get aggressive with my treatment. The schedule is complicated, chemo will be outpatient, 1 hour, once per day for 5 days, 2 weeks off, then again, 1 hour, once per day for 5 days, 2 weeks off. Concurrently, the radiation part of this blitzkrieg will be on a schedule of once per day, every day, Monday – Friday for 5-6 weeks. Proton beam radiation will try and control the vigorous growth and kill back tumor tissue at each of the large tumors in my abdomen while simultaneously, on the schedule above, the chemo drug ifosfamide will be given to make sure that whatever rogue cancer cells that may be floating in my bloodstream cannot regain their purchase in my lungs, or brain. Whether I have Proton Beam or IMRT radiation has not been set in stone yet, I go tomorrow for the intricate mapping of the tumors to create a complex 3-D model for the computer to use in the administration of the radiation.
These past weeks have been difficult to deal with, having the kids here over the holidays was fantastic, soon after that we hit a slack tide. In the last weeks, a man I greatly admired passed away, Wally Werner was my teacher at Tour Leader training with Adventure Cycling, I also toured Texas with him. While I can’t say we were close, I know he was reading this blog and was pulling for me to saddle up again. His sudden death hit me hard, and I take solace in the man’s character conveyed in his obit:
There hasn’t been a dragon to go out and slay, no goal to work towards, no rugby games to prepare for, no bicycle tours to train for. Peggy has thrown a “Honey Do” list at me to keep me busy & challenged…but now that we have plotted a new course with Dr. B, the emotional panniers are packed, the chin is into the wind, and we’re ready to push off on this newly plotted course of The Long Ride.
I wish my friend Wally Werner were here to ride next to me, you would like him.